The Accident Report

Comedy Joke Title:The Accident Report
Joke Description:

Here follows a tale of an accident report form filed by a
bricklayer:

"I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You ask for
a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be
sufficient. I was working alone on the roof of a six-story
building. When I completed my work I found I had some bricks
left over which later were found to weigh 240lbs. Rather than
carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley. Securing the rope at ground level, I
went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks
into it. Then I went down to the ground and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240lbs of
bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my
weight is 135lbs.

Needless to say i proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel
which was proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.
This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the
broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid
ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
knuckles deep in to the pulley.

Fortunately I had regained my presence of mind and was able to
hold tightly on to the rope. At approximately the same time,
however, the barrel hit the ground and the bottom fell out of
the barrel . Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel
weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

I began a rapid descent. In the vicinity of the third floor, I
met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured
ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower
body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the
barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when i
fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately only three
vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay in pain on the pile of
bricks I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go
of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
rapid descent back towards me....."

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