16> Alec Baldwin signs up for yet another round of French lessons.15> Bruce Springsteen starts working on his new "Moved From the USA" album.14> Dems sponsor a bill making the uttering of the phrase "I told you so" punishable by death.13> George Soros buys a small Eastern European country with which to console himself.12> Michael Moore is so depressed he's started to let himself go, and Sean Penn can't find the will to hit anyone.11> Smoke alarms sound across the Northeast as distraught liberals forget to take their baked brie out of the oven.10> Convoys of Volvos crowd the Gay Head cliffs on Martha's Vineyard and plunge lemming-like into the sea.9> The "Vote for Change" tour reunites as the "Panhandling for Change" tour.8> Thinking that the cameras are turned off, Dan Rather curls up in the fetal position and sobs uncontrollably.7> Chris White publishes a whiny little list about it.6> Al Franken starts work on his new book: "Lies, Lying Liars, and the Big Fat Idiot Ohio Voters Who-- Oh, Why the Hell Do I Bother?"5> The DNC FedExes maps of key Ohio cities to Osama bin Laden.4> Al Gore claims that since he actually won in 2000, America just re-elected *him*.3> John Edwards has come so unglued, he actually has a hair out of place.2> Tom Daschle considers moving to a state that has building tall enough to jump from.1> In a back-alley brawl, Zell Miller ferociously kicks his own ass for being a spineless Democrat. [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
Thursday, December 25, 2014
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