Clinton Stuff

Have you heard of the new Bill Clinton computer?

Six inch hard drive and no memory.

Q : What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?

A: A screwdriver turns in screws, Clinton screws interns!

A reporter asked Clinton one day. "Was Monica lying?"

Clinton responded by saying. "No, she was on her knees."

Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am?

A: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady.

Q. How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, they are too busy screwing the President.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?

A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.

Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?

A: When Hillary is out of town.

Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?

A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.

• Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year.
• When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied, "I don't know. I never had one."
• If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph, what shutter speed would you use?
• Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time...?" Bill Clinton replied, "No. Some begin with 'After I'm elected...'"
• Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered.
• The American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of sh.. that he can't fly.
• Isn't putting Bill Clinton in charge of a trust fund as insane as putting in a draft-dodger as Commander in Chief?
• Clinton only lacks three things to become one of America's finest leaders: Integrity, vision, and wisdom.
• Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, "Youth in Asia are just like kids everywhere else."
• Clinton is doing the work of 3 men: Larry, Curly, and Moe.
• Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird? -the Spread Eagle
• As Air Force One prepares to land, the Captain makes his customary request over the loudspeaker: "Mr. President, would you please return the stewardess to the upright position and prepare to land?"
• Clinton's team of advisors have offered the following defense...Clinton NEVER told Lewinsky to lie in disposition! He told her to lie in THIS position....
• Women in Washington DC were asked if they would have sex with the President. 86% said "Not again."
• The Spelling Bee...Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in a spelling contest. Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only one of the three who knew that 'harass' was one word.